Trapped by MDD and chronic pain (2023)

My name is Renee Scalise, some may know me as Renee Grossman.

I feel like I've been fighting for my life longer than I can remember now. I can say that my problems started in 2007 when I finally achieved my dream goal of becoming a geologist, but I got hurt and that dream came to an end.

A lot of people tell me I'm strong and sometimes I think I am.

However, since February 21, I have not been able to generate any income. I am behind on all my bills, apart from constantly paying my rent. If you continue reading below you will find that my physical and mental disabilities have left me with literally no quality of life and in constant fear of losing my home and animals which are my only support group.

I had surgery on my back in 2012 and it was fused S5 l1. I considered my surgery a success because I didn't feel as much pain anymore. During this time I was diagnosed with treatment-resistant depression, which I have struggled with ever since. Along with MDD came PTSD anxiety, OCD, ADD and it was a very long battle.

Although the physical pain has subsided, it has now been 10 years and my new MRI results:

L2-L3: Slightly progressive narrowing of the disc space with diffuse disc protrusion. No spinal canal or neuroforaminal stenosis.

L3-L4: Diffuse disc herniation with bilateral facet arthropathy and ligamentum flavum hypertrophy. Mild stenosis of the spinal canal with mild bilateral neuroforaminal stenosis. The findings are not changed.

L4-L5: diffuse disc bulge with bilateral facet

Arthropathy and yellow ligament hypertrophy, slightly advanced from before. There is aggravation of moderate spinal canal stenosis with mild bilateral neuroforaminal stenosis, which is similar.

L5-S1: previous posterior decompression and fusion.

My Cervical MRT

C3-C4: Right uncovertebral hypertrophy and mild facet arthropathy. Mild right neuroforaminal stenosis. No spinal canal or left neuroforaminal stenosis. The findings are not changed.

C4-C5: Superficial disc osteophyte complex with bilateral nocovertebral hypertrophy and arthropathy of right facet larger than left. Without stenosis of the spinal canal.

Moderate right and mild left neuroforaminal

Stenosis The findings are not modified.

C5-C6: diffuse complex of disc osteophytes with bilateral nocovertebral hypertrophy and facet arthropathy. Without stenosis of the spinal canal. Severe bilateral neuroforaminal stenosis. The findings are not changed.

C6-C7: diffuse disc osteophyte complex with bilateral nocovertebral hypertrophy and facet arthropathy. Without stenosis of the spinal canal. Severe bilateral neuroforaminal stenosis. The findings are not changed.

C7-T1: Bilateral Facet Arthropathy

My angry pelvic floor therapist said:

Kristin M. Dennis, PT on 2/2/2023 7:45 am M. St Francis Therapy

Plan Freq

Renée Lynn Scalise

Center @ Sportsclub once Congaree 712 CONGAREE RD GREENVILLE SC 29607- Telephone: [Telefon redigiert]

for C

DOB: 11/14/1972 Elementary: First Choice Next (Commercial) Secondary: GENERIC COMMERCIAL

3520

Fax: [phone number redacted]

Certificate Maintenance/Expiration

05/

PT Visit Information:

Frequency of Plan: Once a week for 90 days Care Plan/Certification Expiry Date:

OUTPATIENT PHYSICAL THERAPY: TYPE OF OP NOTE: Treatment note 02/02/2023 Appointment for episodes

03.05.23

Number of visits: 1

Treatment diagnosis: incoordination (muscle coordination) (R27.8) pelvic floor dysfunction in females (M62.98) general weakness (M62.81) urge incontinence (N39.41) constipation, unspecified (K59.00) low back pain (M54.5)

loss of pelvic muscles (N81.84)

That's exactly what I'm going through physically. My mental health has been an ongoing struggle that I still work with a therapist every other week.

Besides my physical and mental health, the landlord I've been renting from since October 2018, June 22nd, my landlord tried to find a reason for me to vacate the house. Started with an old AC that was 35 years old insisting that the AC works and doesn't. He made promises, he broke them, and then he hit me up and said he was more than welcome to find a new home.

The next gas lit comments were that I had to leave because my dogs were barking, although I could prove to him it wasn't my bark collar dogs, it was in fact the dog behind me.

She claimed that there were many complaints from her neighbors, that in fact there was one complaint and only one complaint and when she looks out the door the only dog ​​she sees is the dog that lives behind my house.

His next gaslighting technique was that my garden needed maintenance, the roof and gutters and if not I would need to find a new place to live. I did what he asked with the help of a disabled friend. to do something like that.

On January 15th of this year my dishwasher exploded and was smoking and the microwave bulb went out, my dryer went out and when you plug in the stove it says bad limescale.

He had an electrician come over the next day and said my breaker box was very outdated and the wiring made no sense. He told my roommate that the wiring would not pass the code check. The owner tampered with it, but the stove breaks the whole house when I plug it in. He told me he would fix it immediately to fix that it could be uncomfortable for my dogs at times but it had to be done.

Next thing I know I get a letter in the mail saying the house has to be vacated due to work that needs to be done and I have until February 20th to find a new apartment.

I called several agencies here who told me to call. They don't answer my calls. They told me to call HR and speak to a woman. I spoke to her and tried to claim that this wasn't my fault. He can do that. Not only did he kick me out for it, but he also told me that I might have to leave in 24-48 hours when the codes come out.

Apparently if I try to take the landlord to court he can get the code inspector to come in and say the house is unavoidable and again I have 24-48 hours. I genuinely think I'm being bullied and the reason you've been trying to kick me out is because of the soaring real estate values ​​here in Greenville, South Carolina where the median rent is $1,200 and I'm currently paying $975.

I have now contacted a pro erection attorney who is considering taking my case as I am not in any type of landlord infringement.

I applied for Social Security on June 21 for my physical and mental health and am still awaiting resolution.

My husband left me in January 2022 and I don't even know where he is and he left me with no income and no way to earn an income.

I've been floating around trying to sell antiques and jewelry at flea markets, but even now I'm trying to carry boxes or whatever, that's a question.

I had a second cousin who said she would move in and help me and we would work together and within 5 days I realized she was stealing everything from me so I kicked her out right away.

Mental illness makes it very difficult to maintain relationships. My family has left me completely. I don't make lasting friendships because most people can't deal with how mental health affects people and those around them.

I am 100% single, have a roommate at the moment but as I am used to no one knows how to deal with all these diseases in physical pain. I have my dogs, I have three of them, a pot-bellied pig and it was supposed to be a miniature pig, but it's not, but I'm not giving up on things. All I've heard is get rid of my animals and try to get council housing. My animals are pretty much the only thing that makes me feel loved because there is nothing else in my life.

I'm so scared and I'm so desperate that I can't stop crying. I can't sleep when it's not physical pain but mental pain when you know no one in your family loves you and you don't have friends who know you have made mistakes with your mental health and things you don't wanted to say but you're still human and you still love people and you're still trying to manage your mental health but resisting treatment is so tough. I've been through shock therapy in spravto and because i'm at such a sensitive point in my life i don't try new meds because i've already tried 36 and i'm too scared one of them will go bad because i am not stable enough.

I do not drink. I do not do drugs. I'm just trying to find a way to make it in this world. My blood work shows that I am losing platelets and that I have extremely high cortisol. I'm done with Covid and December I'm trying to live and I feel like everyone is against me...

If anyone takes the time to read all of this and is willing to help a person who keeps trying to fight but keeps getting knocked down and keeps trying to stay on this earth who is truly a good person but is sick and in many ways ways and it doesn't. I don't have a support group, I am very grateful for your help.

Living with chronic pain and mental illness has many faces, my cover picture shows 2 of me.

We all go through difficult times, I understand that. If you can't help with donations, please share my story.

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